Writing Wedding Vows

Updated: Dec 13, 2020


These two questions are prevalent when planning your wedding ceremony. As I stated in the previous blog, the exchange of vows is the center of the wedding ceremony; so, it is the heart and soul of your wedding. Most people want vows that speak about the deep love they share and hopes for the future.


Should You Write Your Own Vows

You should if you want your wedding vows to be personal and intimate. Traditional vows touch upon these truths of for richer and poorer, for better and worse, in a generic and impersonal way.


Every time I hear vows, I get a little teary because I feel the sentiment from my own experience when I stated my vows to my beautiful wife, Michelle. I had a rush of emotion that built up to the wedding. It came out at the moment we exchanged our vows. So that being said, how on earth is it possible to tell all those emotions in a vow? Here is a method I have used to assist couples in writing their own vows.


reading vows

How Do You Write Your Own Vows?

Sit down, reflect, then write, or if you prefer, type. Personally, I recommend writing. There is something very creative when a pen/pencil hits the paper. This step is about getting in touch with your ideas, feelings, emotions, dreams, and hopes. So, take a pen/pencil and a pad of paper and sit down in a quiet place. Turn the gadgets off. At first, just reflect upon your relationship, reflect upon the past. Think about the future and take a moment to remember; it's almost a type of meditation. Often it helps to close your eyes, breathe in and out, reflect. You will find that words and phrases pop up in your mind. Don't write anything down. I recommend you think/meditate for at least 10 minutes.

Now, write down any and all thoughts, words, and phrases. Do not worry about an order when writing down your thoughts. This is just a brainstorming session. Write down as much as you can recall. Take a break and get distracted with something fun for 30 minutes. Then, repeat the above step of reflection and writing. After you have written the second time, do a little categorizing into past, present, and future. Which thoughts/feelings are about the past? Which thoughts/feelings are about the present? Which thoughts/feelings are about the future? You have a fantastic outline for your vows.